Controlled Insanity

Updated: Dec 4, 2021

I wrote this song about a friend still in active addiction who doesn’t understand bi-polar disorder. It turns out that trying to be normal is so exhausting, that I start to lose touch with reality. “I’m controlling my sanity, a lesson in perforated reality, who doesn’t love a fantasy”. I need to be around bi-polar people in my free time to be able to let loose.


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Bi-polar disorder - depiction of a woman, in black and white.
Photo credits: Dids @ Pexels

I have 100 possible ideas today,

I miss the 6 impossible days

I hate when I have to shut it down

To have incoherent conversations with you.


I see what you mean now,

When you take it too far

I can relate,

That’s why that I hate

When I have to ask you if you’re drunk again -

Is that a knock on my sanity?


Controlled insanity,

That shit is exhausting,

The pills get me high,

The pills take me low,

I had to shut it down

To have incoherent conversations with you.


Reality is just a 20/20 mission

Nothing more than a fuzzy vision,

Through exhausted red eyes

I’m controlling my insanity,

A lesson in a perforated reality

Who doesn’t love a fantasy?


I have 100 possible ideas today,

I miss the 6 impossible days

I hate when I have to shut it down

To have incoherent conversations with you.


I’m not in need

Of my constant medication,

Controlled insanity,

Is that what you think is happening?


You can’t control yourself

And you’re taking it out on me,

Your incoherent conversations

Of how you’re better than me...

Please, don’t call me if you’re drunk again.


I have 100 possible ideas today,

I miss the 6 impossible days

I hate when I have to shut it down

To have incoherent conversations with you.

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